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Coalition of Royal Allied Powers
|govname1 = Triumvirs |govfield1 = *Chuck Normis *constapatedape *Raistandantilus |govname2 = Chancellor |govfield2 = champcardon |govname3 = Ministers |govfield3 = War/Defense *Jonathan Webb II Internal Affairs *Lawno Recruitment *''Vacant'' Foreign Affairs *''Vacant'' Finance *darthboy155 |internationalrelations = See below |ircurl = irc://irc.coldfront.net/CRAP |ircchannel = #CRAP |forumurl = http://s1.zetaboards.com/CRAP_Alliance/index/ |statsdate = February 12, 2013 |totalnations = 64 |totalstrength = 2,105,396 |monthchange = |avgstrength = 32,897 |totalnukes = 545 |aidslots = 6.59% |rank = 89 |score = 8.89 }} Coalition of Royal Allied Powers, formerly known as Cool Rats And People, is a Maroon Team alliance that has been around for over 5 years. Overview We offer military help, help with trades (if you need it), and tips for your nation from one of the best CyberNation guides out there! We take every suggestion are members make into consideration and try to accommodate the needs of everyone. We are dedicated to the complete protection of our members, and we will help you any way possible if you are a friend or a member. We might be one of the smaller alliances, but we have some of the smartest and most loyal members out there. We also have the friendship and respect of very large network of alliances that will come to our aid if requested. Although we are a Maroon Team alliance, any nation of any color can feel free to join. History The Molding of CRAP CRAP is a branch off of the now defunct alliance Phoenix Police Force (PhPF). CRAP was originally founded on April 11, 2007 under the name Cool Rats And People by the wild and crazy Chuck Normis but later changed their name to what it is now. CRAP was originally a member of the Green Sphere, but moved to the Maroon Team where they were more welcome. CRAP started out with a Monarchy form of government, but as they gained more members switched to a Triumvirate system. They have gone through two charters so far and they hope that their current one will last for quite a while. Over the year of their existence, CRAP has gathered a loyal following of members and has made many friends with other alliances. Their goal is to reach 50+ members, but that goal seems to be constantly hindered by swift unknown forces. Government Changes and Merger : Summer 2009 On June 8, 2009 constapatedape took over as the newest Triumvir after Nathanius had to step down. Other government changes also happened on June 8 including ccs255 moving over to MoR and AliRomanista being promoted from DMoF to MoF. Since constapatedape was promoted to Triumvir his old position of MoFA became vacant. In July, close friend and ally tehol of the Aquatic Coalition Front (ACF) had to step down from active involvement in running the alliance, and with no one else in the alliance able to shoulder the load, he reached out to constapatedape and Chuck Normis of CRAP, and Gambona and Lonewolfe of the newly formed Asgaard for help. Over the next 24 hours, ACF merged into The Coalition of Royal Allied Powers and Asgaard (around 60% of Nation Strength going to CRAP, around 35% to Asgaard and the rest to assorted others). This merge was the first major boost of nation strength and membership that CRAP has gotten. And as of January 2010, two former ACF members have become Ministers in CRAP, Mydas (MoWD) and Dstay (MoR), along with these many of the Battalion Leader positions in the last round of elections were taken by former ACF members. A Brief History from Summer 2009 to Summer 2012 by constapatedape After ACF Merged into CRAP in the Summer of 2009, CRAP has been able to maintain it's membership goals of over 50 members. During the period from 2009 to 2012 CRAP has had 4 other alliances merge into it, The Mafia, Coalition of Independent Nations, The Federation (Know as FALCON then), and Imperium Romanum. Each merger brought its own set of customs and traditions which have led to a very diverse membership. During this period CRAP also saw it's third Triumvir position be taken by form MoIA, Raistandantilus. Along with a number of other government positions changing hands How CRAP Began (According to Chuck) Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop; You know the place. Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy. Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning, my mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. It was driving me crazy! I said to my mom, I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother, she just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train and she leaned right down next to me and she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old! That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place; where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are oh so fluffy, where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel! Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt. I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize: a first class one-way ticket to The Phoenix Police Force. I'd never been on a real airplane before and I gotta tell ya, it was really great. Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor, and the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time and the flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, and the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore. And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died! Except for me. So I crawled from the twisted, burning wreckage. I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, dragging along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel. But finally I arrived at the world famous Phoenix Police Force; where the towels are oh so fluffy and you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna. It's O.K., they're clean! Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C and I turned on the SpectraVision and I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow that I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "WHO IS IT?" They're not sayin' anything. So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected! It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right. So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel. And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that! That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation! Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest, I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice; but first, I decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop, and I walked on up to the guy behind the counter and he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels." I said "OK, I'll take that." So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over! Oh man, they were just going nuts! They were tearing me apart! So I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face waving my arms all around and just running, running, running like a constipated wiener dog and as luck would have it, that's exactly when I had a great idea! I would start my own alliance!! Anyway, things really started looking up for me because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream. That's right, I started CRAP! I even got member of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face. Everybody in PhPF was pretty jealous of me after that. I was getting a lot of attitude. Like one time, I was out in the parking lot trying to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil, when I see this guy WoodChuk trying to carry a big old sofa up the stairs all by himself. So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Woodchuk, he just rolls his eyes and goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!" So I did. Then he gets all indignant on me. He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great how was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for crying out loud. But around that time, I started getting death threats from the Green Sphere where CRAP was staying. So I’m like “You guys are stupid!” and CRAP packed our bags and left. So there I was wandering around for days, when I ran into the girl of my dreams. Her name was The Maroon Sphere. I'll never forget the first thing she said to me. She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face." That's when I knew it was true love. We were inseparable after that: we ate together, we bathed together we even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss. The world was our burrito! So we got married and we bought CRAP a house. We have been there ever since. I guess all I’m really trying to say is that if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandary, full of loathing and self-doubt, and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence; at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours, there's still a little place called CRAP. Significant Members: Current and Former *Chuck Normis ~ The glue of the alliance, Founder & Dedicated Triumvir. AKA G. Buttersnapps. He pretty much is pure awesomeness. He funds everything, and yells at people a lot.The face of CRAP and member with the largest ego. *WoodChuk ~ That one guy who founded CRAP with Chuck and helped jump start things...then disappeared into the mist (but then recently reappeared. *Matthewbaer ~ Long time Triumvir. When the strongest nation in CRAP was a mere 12K NS, his massive 30K NS nation was more than welcome. He helped fund almost everything, and most importantly, he was the first member of CRAP to work their way up to nuke status. *Slicer845695 ~ Former Triumvir of CRAP. He helped fund a lot of things, and came up with great ideas up until the day he left. *Nathanius ~ Took over from Slicer. He really stepped up to the plate when CRAP needed him too, and worked his ass off to keep things going until RL hindered him to the point where he had to resign for the Trim spot. *King of England/Winston Churchill/Sergeant Angel ~ He has many names and he was one of the first members of CRAP other than the founders. He has been a MoFA, MoF, and MoR for CRAP. He keeps quitting...and coming back. *constapatedape ~ :P Former DMoFA & MoFA, Second longest serving Triumvir behind Chuck, AKA Chuck's Grape Peeler *Raistandantilus ~ Long time Triumvir (currently still serving) and former MoIA, the most well spoken member of CRAP *Mydas ~ Long Time Serving MoWD who did everyones work, and randomly disappeared off the face of Bob *Lord Cthulhu ~ Former MoF *Landru the Falcon ~ Greatest recruiter in CRAP's history *Harvey The Wonder Hamster Foreign affairs Protected AAs * CRAP Applicant * CRAP * FALCON * The Mafia * X-Nations (link) Blocs Defunct treaties *'Coalition of Independent Nations' *'Asgaard' *'Aquatic Coalition Front' *'United Commonwealth of Nations' *'The 57th Overlanders' *'Coalition of Independent Nations' *'Protectorate of the Random Insanity Alliance' *'Protector of Cat Land' *'Protector of FALCON' *'Protector of The Mafia' *'The Mafia ( / )' *'Sentinels of Unity and Liberty' *'United Under Scorn' *'Through Yggdrasil's Roots' *'FALCON / The Federation' *'Coalition of Independent Nations' *'United Militant Corps' *'United Blue Directorate' *'Fifth Column Confederation' Former Flags File:CRAPflag.jpg|Former Flag of Cool Rats And People File:CRAPflag2.jpg|Former Flag of Coalition of Royal Allied Powers See also Category:Alliances Category:Maroon team alliances Category:ProtectoRItes